everyone’s grandparents seem to have really cute stories of how they met, and like my grandparents met when my grandma was running away from police during a protest and she jumped on the back of my grandads motorcycle and just screamed “DRIVE FUCKING DRIVE”
me: what’s for dinner?
her: *spreads her legs*
so, did you not cook or ….. cause popeyes closes at 10 and i need to leave now if i’m gon make it.
i don’t understand why people don’t instantly respond to “what would your dream superpower be” with the ability to manipulate probability.
think about it. what’s the chance someone will drop 1mil in front of me? 0%? let’s make that 100%. what’s the probability i’ll wake up tomorrow and be X gender? 100%. what’s the probability my bathtub is filled with mac and cheese? 100%.
This is genius
moan my url in bed
mom what THE FUCK do you mean youre not a virgin
the world is incredible. there are girls in this world, and there are also dogs. you can put melted cheese on any type of potato. sometimes flowers grow even when nobody is there to water them. right now on this same planet where we live there are people who are in love with each other kissing each other on the nose. emotions and colours are both things that exist. everything is so great